What does the city look like when you have a child? Visuals from the developer are eager to show young families smiling on a green patio or in a garden on a sunny summer afternoon. However, what will it be like in the winter at this location? Will it be possible to reach the house on foot with a stroller? Monika Pastuszko writes about the clashes with the reality of the urban world of high curbs, snowless sidewalks, out-of-service toilets and broken elevators in her book "Polish Mother Peeing in the Bushes."
The book is written from a personal perspective, so that we experience her "adventures" with the author, we learn about the ways of coping with the challenges that parenthood brings, and thanks to the personal narrative, we feel that we become the author's friend. However, this is not a sentimental diary or memoir. Shepherd eagerly interweaves personal stories with data. She reaches out to both national statistics and WHO recommendations, global studies. She supplements the content with stories of other Polish Mothers, some appearing anonymously, while others are signed by name and appear in many parts of the book.
The author builds a small universe that is finally told differently. At last there is a book on our market that demolishes the narrative of the necessity of creating a patriarchal world made of concrete and glass, while presenting the reality of functioning in such a reality. We learn about the daily barriers that effectively make it difficult to live, move around, get things done, the author also breaks down stereotypes - both of "fads" and perceptions of parenthood, including fatherhood. The publication largely focuses on exclusionary aspects - from urban elements, such as curbs and steps, elevators, lack of toilets, lack of safe routes for bicycles, to entire phenomena, for example, air pollution, heat waves or not snowing sidewalks. There are also ways to cope with trains, travel, and restaurants.
Reading the book, I empathize with the heroine, noticing how her world is changing, but also how the world has begun to perceive her, her partner, differently. That's right, a partner. Although the title tips us off to a "mother," we find much more here than just a complaining "madam." Men, if you want to know what full-time parenthood is, the author has something for you as well. Although the job market is more likely to promote you when you are a dad, already parental leave and taking over responsibilities is likely to be met with infantilization. There is a stereotype that a man is incapable of taking decent care of his offspring. I am very grateful to the author for devoting part of the book to describing how the world accepts fathers. This makes the perspective seem much fuller, and the publication can not be thrown into the basket of readings that describe the world only through the eyes of women (which are also needed!).
I am also grateful that the reading is not heavy and overwhelming. I don't have an overwhelming feeling of sadness, Weltschmerz, discouragement after it, on the contrary, I feel motivated to change the world, and recommend the book! Perhaps this is due to Henny, who bravely accompanies us. His curiosity and energy pass on to me and tell me that something needs to be changed so that more Hennies, Ana's and Kasie's will have a better life, be able to pee at the playground, travel by train in the children's compartment without being woken up by a loudspeaker at every station, and their cities take their rights into account. The cover reads that Monica "explores the city of mothers. With insight, savvy and a wonderful sense of humor, she describes her maternal adventures." - that's right. And in the acknowledgements, the author writes that "one of the best things about writing a book is that you can thank the people thanks to whom it was written," and I, from this place, would like to join in the thanks, adding my gratitude to Pastuszko herself - this book was so much needed!
Magdalena Milert
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